distant mirror at 2am

God, I miss you so much

It breaks me,
Like I'll never be whole again.

All the tiny little holes
Between us
Right through bone, mortar and air.
...
How do you live out there
In open,
How do you sleep at night?

I choke on the pills
And spirits,
I write with the blood of heart.
...
This isn't a life I wanted
Or prayed for,
Please make the pain away.

I'm trading your mirth
And loveliness,
For that's how I want it to end.